Last week I blasted into space and talked with aliens who used telepathy and had razor sharp teeth. The aliens looked scary and I was worried that they would eat me but they were in fact quite friendly. Two days ago I ran across a field to a small mountain where little rabbits threw tiny sliced green pickles at me. Surprisingly, I was more scared of the pickles than the rabbits. Last night I was half naked in a shopping centre shower (?!) trying to protect myself and my daughter from a group of murderous butchers (and I mean butchers in the literal sense; complete with striped aprons and hairnets). My dreams of late, sure have been crazy.
I have always been a prolific dreamer. As a child they often frightened and amazed me. As an adult I studied psychology and learnt about Jungian and Gestalt theories. In Gestalt theory, you are everything in your dream. Yes, even the scary sliced pickles. I’m still trying to work that one out. Jungian theory states that the subconscious world of dreaming is a reflection of your conscious world and the happenings in waking life. I have understood this to be true of my own experience.
Take last week’s dream. Blasting into space = a new situation where the boundaries are endless. Sharp teethed aliens = being surrounded by an unfamiliar community (such as journalists and newspaper photographers); who have the power to figuratively ‘eat me alive’ but whom I have found to be really lovely. This dream is very reflective of the changes that are happening in my life at the moment. Stepping into my new role as an author. Developing and maintaining a public image through my website, blog and interviews. Signing books and having my photo taken. Being recognised by someone who reads my blog and has bought my book (Oh, if only I had washed my hair and put on make-up that morning before ducking to the shop!). Some parts of my life are certainly changing.
Last night’s dream is very much a reflection of my anxiety of being in the public eye. Being semi naked = feeling exposed. The murderous butcher and his pals = people potentially judging me and taking me apart (again, figuratively speaking of course). Trying to protect my daughter = my fears surrounding how this may all affect her. I woke at 1am with a sense of panic and a feeling of being ‘not safe’. Then I made the connection. Today is the day my article was going to be in The Advertiser. Disappointingly, it is not there today. It seems the article has been moved to another day. Apparently these things happen in this industry. So effectively I spent the night fending off a party of crazed butchers for nothing.
I guess it is par for the course that I am going to have a bit of anxiety at this stage. Hopefully it will diminish as I find my feet a little more in this journey. These nocturnal adventures are nothing more than the side-effects of life changes coupled with a steep learning curve. I am hoping that I don’t get any more visits from murderous butchers though. Perhaps next time I’ll be able to stare them down and shout “Bring it on! I am not afraid of you! I no longer fear your sharp knives and awesome carving skills!” Ultimately, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. That is to say, with the exception of those tiny sliced green pickles…they were truly terrifying!